On November 6th, we went to Misogi Shrine in Kobuchizawa, Hokuto City to celebrate Shichigosan a little early.
Walk along the approach to the shrine where the leaves are beginning to change color, and after a celebratory ceremony in the main hall, feed and play with the gracefully swimming carp in front of the magnificent Noh stage with its dignified appearance.
All three families enjoyed a relaxing time together.
Thanks to you, my son was able to reach his third birthday safely and in good health.
Those four years seemed both long and short, and he was just so adorable that it made all the hardships of everyday life seem to disappear, but being three years old is difficult in many ways.
At the age of three, he stopped breastfeeding, was potty trained, and I feel he has suddenly developed an adult consciousness, a sense of self, and is now able to communicate in a more detailed manner.
But suddenly, thoughts like "It has to be this way," "I can't stand it so much I break down in tears," "It has to be now," etc. appear...
I think there is no parent who doesn't suffer from this to some extent.
I want to respond to my child's requests as carefully as possible, but when I have to deal with this several times a day, I end up exploding with frustration.
That's fine. Go ahead and explode.
The basic premise is that in this day and age, mothers are almost always left to look after their children alone, making it a very tough environment for raising children. It's natural to feel frustrated. No one is at fault.
In the past, grandparents would have been nearby to look after the children when the parents were busy, and they could even go to play with adults in the neighborhood. During that time, my mother would have had time to relax and take a break. But now, if things go wrong, there are often days when she has to be with them 24 hours a day. (Our policy is to send our children to daycare from the age of three. Ideally, we would like them to be raised in as many relationships as possible with familiar, trusted adults until the age of three.)
If you're a mother who's exhausted from being at the mercy of your child's constantly changing emotions, please take out your frustrations on your father.
And what action should the father take in this situation?
① Start fighting with your mother
② Calm down your mother's frustration
3. Keep your mother happy
The answer is
All are x.
Answer: Go to your child, place your hand on their stomach, and talk to them gently.
What will I tell you?
"Don't worry. Right now, Mommy is tired and angry, but after a while, the kind Mommy will come back. Want to play with me?"
Children become very anxious when faced with an irritated mother. Their reactions vary. They may cry, thrash around, or appear to be well-behaved, but if you look closely, you may see that they are constantly checking on their mother.
I think children have an exceptionally high sensitivity to emotions because their antennae are so alert.
I'm always particularly concerned about my mother's mental state. Children can quickly sense when their mother is feeling irritated and become anxious. Why is she angry? Did I do something wrong? Has my mother started to dislike me? This can lead to a life where they're constantly trying to please others, making life difficult for them.
But there is salvation.
By the age of three, children are able to understand many things if they are explained carefully.
The person who can explain this to their child is probably the father, who is closest to them. Rather than worrying about protecting himself, fathers should first gently support their children, who are most vulnerable.
Once the children feel safe and order is restored, the waves will calm down.
"Mother" means "sun" and is the sun of the home.
It is thanks to the precious presence of "Dad" and "Otousan" that the whole house is always brightly lit.
Peace in the home leads to peace in the world, so day by day, you must continue to clear away the clouds so that your mother can shine. That is the role of a father in the home, isn't it? It's not the time to sit around acting bossy. After all, children are a treasure.
We live in an age where anything can happen at any time. Rather than thinking about "someday," this moment is unique. Why not get started now?
